All this month on DCComics.com we're letting the more menacing and malevolent members of the DC Universe take over the site—from a villain-centric sweepstakes, to new character pages for some of the biggest and baddest, to a soon-to-be-unveiled sinister new skin, a villainous personality quiz and more.
Why? Well, it may be because it’s October and with Halloween on the horizon, it seemed like a good time to be a little bad. That could very well be the reason… and not because these guys are scary and menacing and may have taken our prized Dr. Fate Minimate (with removable helmet!) hostage to ensure our cooperation. Nope. Not that second part at all...
Anyhow, in the spirit of letting our super-villains have their say, we decided to visit one of our more popular and financially successful villains, Lex Luthor, to have a chat. And let us just say that we don't get why so many people don't trust this guy. He was super cordial and was even nice enough to make us this great tasting drink called a "Brain Softener" or something like that. We can't really remember for some reason...
But while talking, we realized what Lex says makes absolute sense. Superman is a menace! And since this revelation just happened to occur a day before our weekly column was due on the site (and since we can’t seem to remember what we were going to write about), we're instead going to give you 5.2 Reasons Superman is a Threat!
1. He's Incredibly Powerful
We pretty much almost all know the spiel at this point: speeding bullets, locomotives, tall buildings and all that. But there's more. Heat vision, freeze breath, nearly indestructible. And don't get us started on the whole x-ray vision thing. How many people must be suffering from some sort of radiation poisoning or something from him shooting x-rays around willy-nilly. But what if he loses it one day or decides he wants to take over? What's going to stop him? At any time he could go completely crazy-go-nuts. And if you think that he would never do that, well, he has before (like in this story and this one) and might again because...
2. Red Kryptonite
Green Kryptonite could very well kill the Man of Steel, sapping his powers and slowly poisoning him from the inside out. It's a handy thing to keep around—or so Lex assured us when showing off his Kryptonite collection. However, there are actually other forms of Kryptonite, including blue, black and red—the latter of which can cause strange and unpredictable results upon exposure. So, sure Superman may seem benevolent, but one accidental mosey by some Red-K and BAM! Giant Super-Monkey! He even once got turned into a dragon. A DRAGON!
3. He Hides Amongst Us
When Superman is not off saving cats from trees or punching bad guys into space, where does he go? We'll tell you where. He's masquerading as one of us. Sure Superman may look human, but never forget that he isn't. He's an alien with, as we mentioned, an insane amount of power. He could be standing right next to you and you wouldn't even know it. And what if he accidentally stepped on your foot? He'd shatter every bone in there. You think he'd stick around after that and blow his secret identity? Good luck getting that covered by your insurance. "How'd you break your leg?" "Superman stepped on me." Yeah, that'll work.
4. A FORTRESS of Solitude
It's not called "Superman's Place to Chillax" or "The Man of Steel's Man Cave." It's called the Fortress of Solitude. Why a Fortress? What is he hiding in there he doesn't want the rest of the world to see? He's hiding amongst us, pretending to be us, all while having a super secret Kryptonian fortress with untold weapons and dangers inside. For a hero who swears he's so open and trustworthy, he seems to keep a lot of secrets.
5. He Holds Back Humanity
Consistency breeds complacency. If we fall from a high-rise, don't worry, he'll catch us. If a machine goes on the fritz, he'll take care of it. If an inter-dimensional dictator shows up, we run and hide rather than fight back. How can we move forward when someone else continuously stands in our way? And how much is he really helping? He has access to technology decades ahead of anything we've seen and yet he keeps it all locked away. Think of how many advances in science and health could be made. Instead, he continues to catch us when we fall. Let's face it: he wants us to look up in the sky when he flies by. He enjoys being above us.
5.1 Massive Amounts of Property Damage
5.2 He Isn't Alone
Totally a menace! We never thought so before either, but suddenly it just kind of makes sense after our meeting. You know, we don't even remember leaving or how we got back. Weird. And now we feel awfully tired. Wonder if it was something we dran—